First day of college

Okay, so my first day of school is very different from everybody out in the world. My story is like a sad movie where everybody will watch and will enjoy and cry but then leave saying it was a flop movie. So yeah that kind of day I had. First, let's keep in mind I moved from KSA to Lahore to pursue my medical dreams going into better college and my whole story kinda revolve around it. I love my college but it was a petite college. As I lived almost my entire life in a different country and had no idea that what I should be expecting so not to make a fool out of myself I asked my cousins for advice and honestly it was like they are preparing me to watch a ghost and what to expect from this horror movie. Ragging, pranks, canteen everything was like a script from a teenage horror movie.

                But I was ready to be the person(that only Person who survives the horror movie) and conquer the day. I ironed my uniform and filled my mind with a fairy tale where my college will surround by a lake and after the main gate, there will be a huge welcome. Ooh and wait! everything will be true keep on reading. I woke up and got ready for the college. I didn't want to be late, hoped on the bike and my uncle dropped me off and as I twirled my head to see the lake of my dreams I did saw the lake. The lake of drainage water. That crushing almost half of my fantasy I just started focusing on the college main gate. Keeping my self-positive and for the huge welcome thinking that after this gate there will be a new world. I entered and as I could see anything inside my eyes got locked on this huge watchman who was standing behind the gate. For a moment I felt, have the horror show started? This watchman was huge, who was the three of me and give me a huge welcome with his huge smile. I will clear out every smile is beautiful but that smile ..... just read. He gave me this non-stop smile where his end of the lips met his both ears. It was like I got welcomed by a joker from a batman and now only I can think is, Am I a batman now? Is this gonna be hate relationship or just the relationship where you just pass creepy smiles.

             After that 10 min thought, I started focusing on college. I wanted to be the Haleema Aden of the college and enter the college like it is a runway. Expecting many girls I entered like a Gigi Hadid or Mahira Khan on runway show of shy, but my catwalk became man walk seeing only two girls and as I went further I figured out that I was the third girl entered in the entire college. Here everything changed because I know I was not that early and I was gonna avoid ragging but now I am like "where is my ragging girl!!". Still unsure about the situation I went to this girl considering her to be total evil (because she was senior so I did kinda expect her to play with me) I asked her where is my class giving her the look I give to my brother when I ask him where is my chocolate. The girl is super sweet guided to my class but me listening to the horror stories last night still doubting her innocence sat down on the ground like a puppy waiting for somebody to follow. And about 5 min later a girl came who was the first year. I followed her and found my class on the first floor. My college was petite so getting lost was out of the question. I found my class.

     It was just before her class. I entered in the class and it was empty like a crime scene which was closed down for long period for some investigation, too dusty and empty. I kept my bag on the chair and noticed two windows on the back of the class. To give myself a princess vibe I went back and opened the window like snow white would call all the animals and as I opened the window there was one animal. It was a squirrel standing and looking me like I broke her dishes or something. Or like in ICE AGE I took his nuts and hid it and now the whole world is in danger. Ignoring that squirrel thinking I became an adult not being stupid over the look of a squirrel I looked at the side to take in a deep breath of mesmerizing scenery but as my eye left the squirrel, my body exhaled every air is stored. There was a drainage water lake again. It rained a lot day before so that can explain the water everywhere but now I felt like a bad version of Rapunzel with her palace is surrounded with drainage water. I closed the window and came back in my seat and started waiting for everyone. In just 15 in the whole class was filled and everybody was introducing each other and mostly knew one another and me pretending to shy avoiding everyone and then this girl approaches me for my introduction. And I felt like an angel with lights popping around her (as weird I am, I imagined those lights a disco lights.... well it is my imagination) she asked from which school I came from and I told her that I came from PISJeddah and she now giving me the look making me feel like I was not from Jeddah I was from Mars. She started asking me questions and said you know I feel very sorry for you? And me freaking out like why? Did she knew I did not have my breakfast and now she is feeling sorry for me... But it was just too early to think that. She started blabbering and saying oooooh in KSA you must have to do niqab and you must cover hands even .. you poor girl. And now I am like which era are you from girl!!. It is not compulsory or a law girl, what made you think that. And me trying to be a normal girl, another approaches me and said: "you know you are very made up". If I was not in shock already I went in ultra shock and said what do you mean? And she replied "your accent is very made up. I mean it is very fake". And now thinking to myself aren't I am speaking the same language as her and then getting in conservation with myself in my head "am I Donald Duck trying to talk to Minnie Mouse.but still Donald Duck is understandable, isn't he? am I not?. Am I really a Donald Duck that everybody has a hard time understanding me". But now to myself, I feel so stupid that I am thinking about cartoons on the first day of my college which kinda made me realize I shouldn't be in college I should be in elementary school playing with Minnie Mouse.

           After this 15 min argument in my head which Alhamdulillah nobody could hear I came in the real world and addressing that girl again "I don't think so I have a fake accent maybe I my Arabic and English trying to fit in with my Urdu". And she is like still I think you are not good at English either just trying to fit in. I just ignored her and sat back on my seat and what do you know, first class was English and my teacher told me to read a passage and I read it in a British accent I could and dab on the haters (just kidding.. now I am being carried away). After class, everyone acknowledged my very tried English but I was happy. Many teachers came and let me tell you my every teacher were amazing. But now it was a time for lunch break. I did not have my breakfast so I was starving and just wanted to get the first thing I could see but, of course, things have to be different because my day was a bad version of a Disney movie. I left my class and everyone was staring at me and having no clue why I walked by and one girl ran into me and said is it true you are from a?. Me feeling like a star said "yes but how do you know?". She replied, "are you kidding me everyone in the college knows that". And I felt each word from the mouth is like a fairy particle which came out and hit each and everyone in the college saying she is from Mars. Ignoring that also hoping now I am a star people will treat me like one I went to the canteen and my canteen was a house of tin and there was a big crowd of girls. It was the scene of a rugby match where all these girls are in a rugby team fighting for the only pack of chips and juice left in this entire world. So obvi, I want that pack too and somehow managed to enter the crowd and now I am in the middle, watching each girl what they are doing. I closed my eye for a sec and I was way in the back of the line.
     
               So now I knew for sure I am not a star here. Again pushing myself into the crowd believing that pack of chips is the only way to survive the world, acting all like warrior and marched in and marched out like a magic but getting nothing. My warrior strength was like a mouse trying to fight with a bear. It was like a magic and I was disappointed that things I wanted to be magical became phus magic but this magic was a was magic. Giving up on the pack of chips saying to myself it is okay it is not the end of the world came back to my class. All the classes ended and now I am feeling good okay so let's go home, I will be fine and now started waiting for somebody to pick me up. All the girls passing me giving me smiles waving at me and I am like, this is my moment to shine and start ex-giving everyone a cinderella wave and prince charming smile(c'mon I mean, had to kill somebody with my smile) hoping I will leave soon but what do you know again it is me and two girls and the whole college is empty. But to myself no problem there are two girls so you will be fine but naah they left too and now I am again passing smile to that tall watchman and now to me he was not a joker from a batman he was the joker from IT(horror movie) and I felt like a child in a yellow coat. I went to staff hoping teachers will be there so I will feel little calm but woohooosh teachers were also gone. There was literally no one and 2-year-old whoever there was, all were different shapes of ghosts to me. I didn't know anyone, I don't the place or how to get to my house, I don't know. I was completely a lamb thinking that tomorrow I will be in the newspaper with headings "GIRL DISAPPEARED ON THE FIRST DAY OF HER COLLEGE".

            I called home from the accountant office and came to the front gate. Now it was a smiling contest between a watchman and me but after 5 min watchman moved and he is coming closer to me. My head is screaming headline is true .. headline is true. He approached me and said beta call your home and I replied I did. He was so sweet and said they don't worry you are not alone they will come soon so relax. And after 30 min somebody finally came to pick me up. I wanted to scream but my crying face was not in the mood. I reached home and straight to my room. My mood is in agony whether to be angry or cry. But then the 2 years old and hugged my aunt because after the unusual day I wanted to be comforted like a 2-year-old. It was an unusual day and makes me into tears every single time and I never wrote an essay on MY FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE in English tests. I mean what to write, if I will it will be full of misery and if the reader is full of imagination he can actually make a picture of the battleground in his head. My college was a rough start but with a beautiful ending...



                 Hope you guys loved it .. see you till next time

Rose Gold Love Is Natural

It is not my first Makeup tutorial but it is my first serious one.I always write about fashion and stuff but never really talked a lot about makeup so I really wanted to try because I do love makeup and I am not professional but learning my way up.😄

   This first look I went with rose gold love.I do love Rose Gold.It is really natural and I actually wore this look to a party.And everyone loved it.And I hope you will love it too.So let's start with the tutorial.😊

1.Mosturize.

First I just mosturized my face with QV cream and not used anything else.I do feel like my makeup can last longer even without primer so did not gave an effort to put it on.😏

2.Foundation.

I used VIPERA fluid Satin Look lasting foundation in the shade of cappuccino 033.This product is not very renowned but it is really good.It feels very light and it blends very nicely.

3.Concealer.

Concealer which I used is from maybelline Fit Me concealer in the shade of 25.It is my most favourite concealer and you don't wanna look at the container beacause it is a mess.I have used this product so much that I think it is begging me not to use it again haha. 😂

After that I set the My under eye with Karaja's loose powder.Karaja is one of the favourite makeup brand out there.😍

4.Eye Makeup.

I primed my lid with the same concealer and the pallate I used is from Sephora Brilliant Makeup Palatte.The first colour I used is peachy brown on my lide and buffed it out and then applied beautiful Rose gold in the center of my eye lid and blended it outwards 

And also blended under the eye.The third shade I used is gold brown on the outer corner of my eye and again blended outwards.

In the inner corner. I used Miss Rose highlight pallate shade sunburst.In the end I used Black NYX I eyeliner.Mascara I used was maybelline.

I did not used any product on my brow and just brushed it with mascara wand.

5.Bronze and Blush.

I actually did not used bronzer,infact I used Sephora Brilliant Makeup Pallate (blush pallate) as a bronzer.

It is the best idea when you don't wanna do a prominent bronzer and just have to give the touch of it.

I used the darkest shade lightly on the hallow of the cheeks and the peachy pink shade on the apple of the cheeks.

6.Highlight.

I used Sunburst and Golden Bronze from the Miss Rose pallate As a Highter .On the cheek bones,Eye brow bone and the bridge of the nose and the tip of the nose.And also lightly on the cupid lip.

7.Lipstick.

It doesnt matter which lipstick I used because you wont be able to see it but still I will tell you.😅😅

I used Maybelline color drama valvet lip pencil in the shade of keep it classy 210.In the set the makeup with 02 makeup setting spray.

And the end result Voila!!! 😍

 I did love the overall look and I will admit that there is alot of space for improvement and I will.I learned a lot from this experience and I will do my best to bring more creative ideas and clear pictures.I know I should give the shades name but Sephora's Brilliant Makeup pallate doesn't have shades name so have to work like this.😥

I hope you guys will love the look and support me so that I will post more And also you can suggest what you want to see more 😄

                                                             Love you guys.Be safe
                                                                      bubyeee

____ A Question to You _____

I don’t understand why we always need some incident before we realize something. We know that we would have to study, even then we wait for the deadline. Why is it so that we want to be alone and then we start missing someone when we feel happy or sad?

Happiness is nothing if it is not shared with someone. You can only feel your happiness, you can’t see your facial expression or your smile when you are happy at the moment and that’s the point when you want someone happy because of you (if they really care about your happiness) and you see your own reflection of smile on their face which really makes you enjoy your happiness.

What about sadness? Do you really want to see someone cry because of you? I bet – no. Then why we miss someone when we are sad? I believe that everyone is that capacity that he can bear his own tensions but sometimes, having someone around you make you feel that you are not alone, at least someone is with you.

This has always happened to everyone at some point in life that at first place they have forgotten about everyone because they were so busy in their ambitions, were busy in their career or were busy with someone else when they have actually missed someone else.

A simple question to you – Are you going to be one of those who at some point in life going to miss someone because you were too busy with yourself? Ambitious, Career or any material thing can be achieved or they can be replaced with new ones but if you have missed some relation – it’s not replaceable, ever! You may have overlooked someone who really cares about you because you don’t have time to notice them but they won’t remain there unless you ask them to be. Don’t be a loser.
I just want to make a simple request to you, give some time to yourself, sit somewhere alone and close your eyes for a moment and think who are those who really care for yourself, who really give you important to you and then think are you going to lose them because you are not giving them the importance they deserve?

                                                                                                         Written By: Sadia Malik

                                                          love you guys. Be safe.

                                                      *** bubye ****

_____ Brown Young Robots _____

Are you connected to Asian culture or Do you know any person who has Asian heritage?.I am not gonna target every Asian but brown people. People of Pakistan and India especially. I am a Pakistani but many Indian can relate to this article or maybe you can relate to. I am writing not knowing a lot about the world and different cultures but let me tell you about brown people.

       I am brown and my entire life is a race A CONFUSED RACE yeah that is much better. When brown people get married they dream about kids and before the kids they decide his/her entire future not thinking what he would like.and when the kid is born his mind brainwashed that he has to be some big thing like doctor engineer otherwise he would not have a life. So then we run In this confused race just like Hunger Games not knowing what is going but you have to fight or else you are dead. we even live and wear like there is some kinda untold sacred rule that must be followed. You talk and even behave like what they told us to do. and if you speak your mind Oh man! You have no respect. You are not allowed to breath.they can beat you yell at you but you are not allowed to speak and if you do, You have no respect.

     For girls, She can't talk about-house matters because it's not her house. After marriage her husband house is gonna be her house.and when she gets married it is the same for her, or everybody excepts her. Many girls are not allowed to travel or not allowed to do things which want just because if her future husband will allow then she will. Even in this era, brown kids go through this all.
And if you wanna walk away from all this just remember you are a robot and will not get the oil which you want and if still, you wanna walk away to act like a human being they are not considered a part of the world.

Many houses have changed but still, many houses are like this even know. If you are a brown kid I am with you. Personally, there are things which I do love about our heritage and culture but the fact that I always treated as a robot is sick.we robots are not even allowed to speak our mind and even cry. Crying is stuff wich only bad robot will do.
I don't know what I can write to change this all but kids are not robots they are a human being. Don't put stuff on them which you want them to do especially listen to their heart they want to be understood not just want oil or a battery refill. Don't think you can buy them everything with money and throw that on them. They want you to be with them.if they want a walk on another path guide and then just trust them and just be on their side if they fail to stand beside them to encourage them.
And if you cannot do that all you aren't a very good parent.You don't need a kid you need a robot .trust be by buying a robot it would be much easier for the life which is not born yet.

   " A ROBOT CAN BREAK AND CAN BE REPLACED BUT A HUMAN BEING CAN'T BREAK BUT DIES AND CANNOT BE REPLACED. "


                                                             be safe. love you
                                                              ***bu bye***

_____ Love VS Hatred ______

There are types of people who only hate.then there are people who hate certain people and then there are people who only love and then there is who only say they love .The word love is so messed up that I think everybody is confused that what exactly love is.Last time when I started writing about what love is I couldn't write because I am also confused that what this word means Affection? Trust? Occupied with their thoughts really if its that then aliens are always on my mind.Really it's confusing but I know it is opposite of hate,jealousy,grudge and other stuff.To me, I feel love is something where negativity doesn't exist.And I wanna live like that and If someone says what love is I am gonna say it is something free from every impure or negative stuff.

     Philosophers say that love is powerful than anything in this world and I really agree with that because powerful things are hard to achieve And love is really hard and hating is really easy.When love and hate come face to face who is gonna win do you know that ?.In this world in which we live right now,in my point of view love is so rare that it exist like it doesn't exist.everything and every feeling has become so impure and it has become a word so easy to say.We hear it so much that now we don't even feel it.It is just Like other those word that just automatically comes out of our mouths. We are human beings and we expect so much only from others not knowing how much we are giving and if we are the one giving we expect something much more or something little bit more valuable than what we give which only leaves us to be disappointed or broken.

You know there is only one thing in this world which scares me the most which are hatred.I am not even scared of death but hatred is something else.It is so easy to hate that it can change and destroy so much.It can even alter the loving heart.I Am the person who doesn't even wanna go towards the negativity.I don't wanna have a glimpse of it,I believe in giving my love (which opposite of hatred and negativity) and I am a human being and I expect bigger love in return Its not necessary that I always will.Now, people talk about love and giving awareness about love but there are types of people who are spreading the love with such a harsh and rude words and I encounter somebody like that yesterday.
it made me so sad and for a while so angry because I felt that it was not the right way to remove hatred but it is only gonna cause more hatred and anger but what really broke me was when my dearest Friend whom I cherish a lot was with her and back fired at me and she did not even felt that how these words could hurt somebody.Everybody have self-respect and I have too so I could say some harsh words too but it would make me no different from others so escaped that place but what were the after effects?I cried so much just because I got so angry,I felt so ditched and I am crying now that I don't want these feelings.

           I read somewhere that our heart is like a bag of tomatoes if you leave hatred inside of it,it will spoil and if you will leave it for a lot of time it will start giving smell so to keep your heart fresh you gotta take care of it,pluck all the hatred so it will be fresh and filled with the best aroma.After that situation ,My heart was filling with hatred and anger and when I realized it I was crying that how can I overcome this hatred I prayed to Allah that I don't wanna be the person who have the slightest anger towards someone I love and after the moment I was relaxed but All the moments we spent felt like it was merely a dream like nothing was true .I Know maybe I am being little too much sarcastic but It feel like a can crushed down by  a car.She doesn't have the slightest clue what I am going through and I don't even know she is reading this but I know I am still gonna love her because its me I will fight this hatred But I did realized that hatred is something so easy that it can melt the strongest bonds and that is why it is weakest And Love Is powerful that is hard to fill your heart with it and only the strongest person can handle it.I can hate thousand people but it will make me coward and it is coward thing to me! but love is powerful and It makes a person strong So I will pray to Allah that I become strong so that I won't let hatred come close to me ever again.

     I do wanna say, guys, that every individual can do much better.Saying harsh word is so easy But it can destroy so much,never in your life say any harsh word to anyone even if it's your Friend .Rude words have become a trend now but Why can't we make loving words trendy.If each of us tries to remove hatred from our heart won't it make the world less miserable?When a baby is born he only knows how to love but as he grows he learns how to hate why?because we don't teach him to love or the side effects of hate.and especially never ever promote love with harsh and hatred comments it doesn't make a person less hypocrite .I don't want to be someone who has even 1%  of hatred and I chose it to be and you can too.
 I really don't know how to end this blog but guys If I say I love you I mean it so lets try to love and fill our heart with it and never expect and never hate because this world is already full of hatred now it needs a bit of love .. and each person can make a difference you can make a difference.... so will You?
                      "Love can win hatred but hatred can never win love"

                                                     Love You Guys.Be safe.
                                                               ***bubyee***

_____ Life And Its Limits _____

There are many pieces that make up our lives: Moments that break us. Moments that raise and shape us. Decisions we make to hold on, or let go. People who enter our lives and leave us changed forever. The ones we love, the ones that hurt us, or heal us, or leave us. Sometimes we don't understand these pieces, or even despair over them. It's only when time goes by and we look back, that we suddenly can see our

whole life like a perfectly designed puzzle. Don't be afraid of the puzzle piece you're in now. It will fit perfectly…just like the rest. How could it not? Well…

The Designer is perfect.

No matter what, once in your life, someone will hurt you. That someone will take all that you are, and rip it into pieces and they won't even watch where those pieces land. But through the breakdown, you'll learn something about yourself. You'll learn that you're strong. And no matter how hard they destroy you, that you can conquer anyone and anything. The thought of being strong will surely make you happy and being happy when you're in pain is just an example of how strong you're as a person...

In life there is no such thing about fate that you cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. You can decide how you can spend your time, whom you interact with, whom you should share your life, money, and energy with. You can select what you can read, eat, and study. You can choose how you're going to regard unfortunate circumstances in your life whether you'll see them as curses or opportunities. You can choose your words and the tone of your voice in which you speak to others. And most of all you can choose your thoughts. Rather thoughts and feelings and our reaction to them, are not a solid or fixed part of who we are. Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and 

attract positive life experiences. 

You're in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity

power over your life or you can choose happiness instead.

The pain you endure in your life is not permanent. You came to this world to grow and to explore and to touch the miracles and marvels of life. Your suffering needs to be respected. Don't try to ignore the hurt, because the hurt is real. Instead, let the hurt prove there is hope through your healing. Let the hurt soften you instead of hardening you. Let the hurt open you instead of closing you. Let the hurt deliver you to Love, and not to hate as you can't do anything about the Length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. The psychic depths are nature, and nature is creative life. The length of your life is less important than its depth. As Leni Riefenstahl said: "I feel as though I've lived many lives, experienced the heights and depths of each and like the waves of the ocean, never known rest. Throughout the years I've always looked for the unusual, for the wonderful, for the mysteries at the heart of Life."

So, basically, "Only he understands Life who enters into its depths."

First we may try to know ourselves, and then we'll begin to understand why things are as they are, and why life is as it is…

I truly feel that if we understand our self and set goals without the regulations and limitations others put on us, then nothing is impossible. The only limits we have are the limits we believe in..!! Don't let the society tell you what your limits are. "if you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only Plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." –Bruce Lee.

                                                                                                                                  Written by guest Writter
                                                                                                                                                                                            Sadia
                                                                          
                                                                         Love you guys.Be Safe.
                                                                    Bubyee
                                                                                     

___ The Psychopath ____

You know I say that the strongest only reaches the point where he can live and make the difference but there are some people who are not strongest but somehow they live but don't make a difference if something they do is making other people suffer and everybody knows them as the psychopath.There is a big difference in a mental person and a psychopath in my eyes.You see! the mental have has some problem with his brain it  is diseased or they are born with it but the psychopath ruins his own brain.I have seen so many psychopaths in my life and I always observe them that why they are like this.They are born healthy like us,they have same body and brains like us but what happen and why they become weak and then I got is that it's not their fault not even a 1%.

                   They are the side effect of a society,of their surroundings.You see not every person is born with a gold spoon in their mouth,or with love and affection and some are not even lucky to live in a peaceful way.Babies are born and then they become an experiment for so many people,they use them as their stress relief toy and some will give birth to their baby but will forget that they ever did and that child is lost in the thoughts that why my parents are not with me or what is the meaning of my life or why even I am here.Living alone and making your own thoughts and wiping your own tears led you to live in a darkness.your mind  becomes weak and then you hate your surrounding because there is just no one to save you or to understand you.Now these people will become the most insecurities and the most pain.Now what they do?

                Every psychopath has  a different way to relieve them or make them shine.Either they will hurt somebody or they will hurt themselves.I know crazy right but it is true.They are the side effect and now they will affect others life.There is another psychopath how is worse he not only a psychopath but he turns everybody in a psychopath.A part of they live quietly and endure everything but as soon they get the freedom they turn everybody's life into hell.like if he has kids he will affect them in every way he will break them and then rip them in every way and later those kids become one of a psychopath and then the cycle goes on.

                 It makes me so angry that it is us.How? In so many ways it could be us,we are a human being and we do so many wrong stuff and in our life maybe some of our act make a difference in somebody else life.And I say all the time love everybody who is near you even you know them or not be their light you don't even that whom you will bring into the light.Talk to the people around you.Give good vibes.Be polite and loving.And you are one who is suffering DEAR! everybody goes through tough life,it is just that maybe their hardship is not like yours.This life is temporary so we have to make the best out of it.I know this is so tough because you are fighting with yourself 24 hours but trust me, in the end, you will be really proud of  yourself and ask for help.From the people who you think give the good vibes.It could be anyone a person in the barber shop  or a person next door or a person in your class or a job.In the end, it is your life and you will decide that are you the strongest or the bad situation around you.And best of all ask Allah for help,He never leaves a person in more burden than he can hold.

    Be nice to each other and always be positive.

                                                        Love you guys.Be Safe.
                                                           ****bubyee****

______ The silent life _______

Deep in my mind,there is a story to be emancipated,the girl who just wants to scream.What happened to her.I'll let you hear,just listen carefully because it might disappear.

       

              Deep in a desert.there is a small village with a few souls.A fascinating village with really hot weather.If you wanna see there is  sizzling sky like maybe you woke up in a middle of your deepest dreams.Air is filled with nothing but a dust but I think everyone here is used to it.In those people there lives a girl with the darkest fate.But what will come to her she doesn't know yet it is very close to her.A girl with a beautiful face has darkest yet shiny eyes,black shiny hair that if you run your fingers through it just feels like a silk.In a long Resham gown and jewelry in her hair.Everyone has their eye on her but she does not care.Standing behind the stall with a clothed roof trying to her handmade pots.A woman reached her holding shiny jewels and asked her:

                         "Indeed you are beautiful.as the people say but will come with me I will give you all this".

    The girl with innocent face:

                       "I am sorry I don not have wished for these.you can return if you do not have anything else to take"

    The women with smiley face:

                         "Don't you remember me from the past you had.You wouldn't be alive if I was not there"

           The girl turned pale and remembered it was a woman who took care of her when she was really young.The memory was nothing but all red.All the brutality and the misery of her past.This woman gave nothing but scars.Her face was numb,her voice was stuck in the middle of her throat.there nothing which she could utter at all.All she could think that why she is here now?.The girl tried to run but she grabbed her before she could disappear. the girl crying and yelling asking"why you came.I ran away long ago so I'll not see your face again .The woman replied, its"I got old now it's your time to take care of me". she grabbed her hand and started to walk.The girl with wet eyes cried for help.There was a boy who loved her so much.Always watched her behind the curtains.As he saw her.he had to jump to save the one and only he loved.He reached her and grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him.Electricity ran through all his body and he knew now was the time and all he could he say to her was "I lOVE YOU",She looked above saw a handsome boy with beautiful skin,perfect body with a muscular jawline.So handsome that every girl can die for him.As her tired eye met his eye full of hopes.She read all his feeling and knew that now she was safe.

           But the woman pulled out her knife and tried to kill the girl but instead she got stabbed by the only girl.The girl screaming with a broken voice"I will not live in those dungeon cells.I will never become the lusted gift to all the men you bring,the blood splashed like if it drp on white rose,it wouldve given sight of a blooming red rose.it could be a sight beautiful to think but now it was nothing but a nightmare.But now everything was gone,the scary past and a haunting witch.And now got the boy to fill her hollow heart with a necter of his love which will her heart into a blooming rose. 

                 I hope you guys will like this small story I wrote.It has a really different writing style,personallyI don't know if this writing style exists.It could be an original haha but I really enjoyed writing I hope you enjoyed reading it.have a great day

                                                           Love you guys.Be safe.

                                                                 **** bubye ****      

____ A Funtastic Day____

Yesterday was the most energetic day of my life.It sure is amazing when you have a productive day.So,I started learning to stitch last week and yesterday I completed my own dress which is so cute.Everyone was so impressed and later we went for swimming but unfortunately we couldn't get the keys so I went to the gym.It was not my first time in the gym but I never work out because I never needed to work out but I love to exercise and then I tried everything.It was just so amazing.I only stayed there for 15 minuted or so after that I was just dying :D.I really felt even though I can't work out ,a little bit exercise is necessary  because it will improve my body function .. later We went to an amusement park and all I did was playing those token games.I was just so lost in them and I didn't even realize that who is around me.I was screaming shouting haha .I am not even the best gamer but I don't know I don't think so it is only me that whenever you get a chance to play no matter how bad you are you get lost into it and then your whole body moves along you like every individual part of your body is just competing itself to secure best.

         like if you I am playing a racing game and know I have to move my car and every car is so fast don't have any idea what is going on and the pressure is on,I have to move my car left with the steering wheel my shoulder my head every part fall towards left like if my whole body will not move left my car will definitely won't go left .And if my car gets hit all cursing words come out .but my favourite games are shooting games.having gun in my hand and aiming at a zombie or an alien feels like I am really on a battlefield.When I started a chapter one everything was quite but as soon it started I don't even remember what happened next ... I was screaming shouting and jumping ..oh man it was so crazy but as soon I lost and turned back everybody was staring at me it was just so embarrassing .everyone with there family and all the women and girls with their husbands or brother and I am 19-year-old girl screaming crazily like there is no tomorrow.It could be true though who know there is tomorrow so I again started playing that same game over and over again.Did I protect myself getting embarrassed this time? well no ,how could I .I was on a battlefield fighting aliens,the is no way I would not scream :D. I didn't want it to end but it was time and they started turning off the lights and everyone was dragging me to stop and to move .. hahaha I don't think so  I got that crazier in my whole life :D.But it was so fun and I just can't wait to go back there again. but I don't know if I will be able to control myself this time.

Have ever got this crazier?if you have I would be that it's not only me haha.How was your day though?And what is the best memory of an amusement park?


                                                            Love you guys.Be safe.
                                                                  ***bubyee***

____ That One Minute Attack _____

August 24, the day when I experienced something really scary, I am sure it was 10 pm when I had an anxiety attack. It was not the first time that I had an anxiety attack but this was the first time that I couldn't control it myself. Anxiety attacks and OCD together are worse. It is like you don"t have control in your own self and you often react and do stuff you don't want to do. and sometimes you want to do something but you can't make yourself do it. It is a fight within yourself and with yourself. and it is scary because you can't even figure out yourself.

I always have these attacks usually when I have thoughts of being alone or when I get hyper or see a fight and it was that day, I got hyper but the difference was that it was my dad whom I yelled at that day. I hate those arguments when I know the person in front of me is 100% wrong and that day my dad was wrong, he was talking about stuff which I knew was completely false and it was turning into an argument. For a long time I tried just listening and not saying anything but as that argument was getting bigger I got more anxious almost hyper and when I knew it was all wrong. I tried keeping quiet but I couldn't, I couldn't stop myself and burst out. I tried talking in the best manner I could but next thing I know I yelled at him, my heartbeat was super fast and my mind went all blurry. I knew I did something nuisance. I knew I did something crazy but I couldn't face him and I turned my back and went out of the room. It only took seconds for me to leave room after yelling at him.but in those seconds I was lost inside me,everything was blurry,my heartbeat, it was so fast that I could not feel it and my breath was like I am in a deep sea where everything is dark and I cannot breathe even if want to.I tried inhaling air from my nose but I couldn't and my mouth was wide open trying to inhale the air as much as I can,it was like I am gonna die, In those milliseconds my brain was shut I was unable to notice where I am or what things are around me or who is around me all I could remember the thoughts.

the thought which was the only thing revolving around my head. It was the only thing which was getting to me without a hindrance.I m a bad girl. I am a bad daughter. I am a bad luck to them.I am nobody . I am such a fool . I am dying.it is better if I die.their life would be easier without me.I am no good.I m no good to anybody.die.die,I am alone.n obody is there for me.I am not important.they are angry.they do n't Ike me.I did something good but I did something bad.These all thoughts just caught me and I couldn't do anything. I tried yelling, calling my mom but I couldn't. It was like somebody caught my tongue. Everything was black in front of me and my hands were shaking .they were shaking so hard that I was terrified of myself and the thought I could only hear. The only thing which I could utter was "mom.water.mom.water".there was nothing else I could say and the only thing I could feel was my mom holding my hand tightly and telling me to breathe. Of course, it was really hard for me to focus on what she was saying and then breathing with occupied my brain. I was terrified of myself and shocked that what is happening to me I could feel the tears falling but I couldn't wipe them off. I could feel the glass of water which was shaking so bad that water could splash all over the place. I tried taking a sip but it was like that it is impossible.

I was scared, I was actually terrified more than scared because I do get attacks when I experience a fight or when I feel alone but I was always able to calm myself.I would lock myself and comfort my own self and try to think more positively.it usually takes 2 to 3 hours to calm down completely but this time I was unable to control or even figure out myself but this time I was normal in 10 minutes because when my mom hugged me I could feel her holding my hand and comforting me. I was terrified but I was so happy that this time, I had my mom beside me to comfort me. and it took 10 minutes to come back to normal. when I came back to senses I knew that I did wrong but I was terrified that why I wasn't able to control myself this time but I was also kinda happy that my mom was there, she was there.this how my scariest moment became a bit happy moment too. it's not like that I did not have attacks again.I did but they were minor attacks and I was able to control myself so I am kinda proud that I m being strong and helping myself but I did realize what its like to have no control over yourself.I did not need anything but that one hug made my hours a minute.

I shared my experience because I want you to help other when they need you,take care of them and if you went through this I just want you to know that you will be alright.You are a fighter in your own battle and you will only feel better when you'll conqure yourself,and it is better to ask help.I know it is so annoying when you are trying to tell what it is or what it is like but they don't understand and say yeah it is just ur mind shake it.But you know  yourself so try comforting and motivating yourself, it will work.I love you and I respect you so much just remember that.Just accept it because it will teach so much :). love you millions :).
Help others and be kind to others .

                                                       Love you guys,Be safe.
                                                          ****bubyee****

____ Imaginary world _____

Everyone has their own imaginary world. I know everyone does. If you don't have it,it means that you have a virtual world where you live in all the time :D.I have an imaginary world too actually it is more like a virtual world because whenever I think of something crazy or any moment I can actually see it and feel it (is it only me or you also feel like it).I guess I have rea ally strong imagination and I can't help it.I just love living in the world with everything around me is so crazy. and today is one of those days when I just can't get out of this world so I thought maybe I should share my imaginary world with you.My imaginary world does not consist of dragons or prince or any castle,it i s very realistic actually,(that's why maybe sometimes I feel that it is completely true).

Well let's start from beginning,in my world, I have a house not too big but it does have a pool in it and I actually am a great swimmer (Oh man!I can feel the water)In real life I really don't know how to swim and that I would love to learn in the future.I have a really close friend which is me myself.I couldn't see any person in this world who can know and comfort me much better than I can myself .So yeah I share stuff with myself and also give crazy idea and tips to myself(I know I went kuku there )but this is true who know you better than you do yourself. and I am really talkative so yeah I do talk to myself all the time. In my world, there is everyone whomever I met in my entire life and also those who I have never met like will smith, Chris Brown, joey and yeah they are really close to me. I can't see them close to me in real life coz I don't know how it would turn out :D.

                  I love pets but I never had one but If I ever do I will definitely have a bird a parrot maybe. A cuddling parrot that would be lovely. and I do have a small forest of my own where there are lots of cherry blossoms (I love cherry blossoms but I have never seen one). and yeah Do I have a boy in my world? yes, I do. He is not too cute but cute because He did win my heart .haha. He is not too perfect but he understands me and he listens to me and whenever I am sad he knows it. It's like he knows me much better I know myself. He is understanding and loves traveling just like I do And we have been to many adventures and every corner of the world. Well, I am not gonna give a lot about him because he is still an imagination lol.

                In my world, Every person I love is around me and I am not afraid of losing them because gonna stay there forever. And, I am someone important to everyone. I am a center of attention which I love.I love it so much that it gives me a warm feeling even in a real life. I guess that's why we have our own imaginary worlds which make us feel better even when we are feeling dull in this real life. But I believe if you don't really have unrealistic things in your world it might be your future. My imaginary world I believe is my future because it is more than an imaginary world, "It is a dream " and Insha Allah I will make it happen .. but until then I can make my Imaginary world even more beautiful and bigger. you know you are never too old to dream.

                                                        Love you guys. Be safe.
                                                              ***bubyee***